21 April, 2008

isolation

i am the only transgender student at school. 
think about how it would feel to be the only something anywhere...
i've been feeling more isolated as of lately being the only transman here. i have trans friends, but they aren't here. along with this this school is FULL of women (which is amazing), but i definitely feel weird being around so many women all the time. the few guys that are here are awesome and i hang out with them...i suppose i feel trapped in between these genders - definitely not female, although not yet male. i feel more and more like an outsider when hanging out with women, and more and more disconnected from that community i used to be a part of. i'm trying to hang out with more guys, but even hanging out with biomales (biological males) can be awkward for me. i always feel hyper-sensitive about how i carry myself and how they perceive me. i'm continually wondering how biomales view transmales

1 comment:

darnell said...

:) Don't worry! You'll get to the point where you'll feel comfortable. You should listen to that This American Life again. I have listened to it multiple times and learn something new each time!