11 January, 2009

interactive post - your chance to SAY SOMETHING!

this has come up a lot lately and i really wanted to hear what others had to say...

for those of you that have known me before and after i began hormones:
has our relationship changed in any way since i've begun hormones - what has changed and how?
have you noticed a change in the way you experience me/the way we interact since i've begun hormones - what has changed and how?

for those of you that i don't personally know:
do you feel like your relationships with those that are close to you have changed since you've started hormones - what has changed and how?

for those of you that are not on hormones:
if you are considering hormones, do you anticipate your relationships to change - what do you anticipate?
if you don't take hormones, have your relationships changed at all since you socially transitioned - what has changed and how?

please respond if you have time.


Diana said...

I don't think much has changed..sometimes I'm nervous I'll say the wrong pronoun/etc but that's gotten a lot better since I've hung out with you post-T. I also want to make sure you're comfortable talking about anything with me..I guess more than anything we talk about your transition a lot, but it's the biggest part of your life right now and it's interesting..so it's not really a bad thing. Just different.

Toby said...

Being on hormones has made me quieter, but more assertive. I am more direct in my actions. It is hard to say how it has directly affected my relationships. Due to an increased emotional stability I believe that my relationship with my girlfriend is easier for her, not being an emotional crutch anyone.

Andrei said...

I am not on hormones (mainly financial reasons) and am not out to people beyond my close friends but (perhaps this is too specific?) I find myself wondering if my best straight male friend would be as comfortable with the amount of physical contact we have now than if I looked more masculine.

Anonymous said...

i think you still seem a lot like you, but maybe overall i would say you seem happier - more comfortable with yourself. it's funny, because i would have guessed the transition would have been harder in regards to the self- part, but now it seems the greater challenge is in undersatnding and dealing with how others see you and interact with you, and dealing with the shifts that have occured. also, the entire time we've been friends we've both gone through lots of life stuff ~ grad school, finding jobs, wrestling with portflio stuff and figuring out what our lives will look like. also, there's the stress of money and surviving until we figure out what each of us is doing next. these are times that seem so hard, but i believe one day we'll look back and remember fondly how we all got through them. my point is, you still seem like you, like a lot of us... just trying to find our way and hold on to/develop meaningful relationships with the ones we love and new friends, too. i think the most important thing to remember is that you have lots of us who support you, and we're here to help you - and be open to listening and hearing your perspective if we seem to be treating you in a way that you don't like. it's a great idea to open this post up - i enjoy hearing what others have to say. and i am so proud of you, lucas ~ you are as amazing to me now as you were the day we spilled beers on gamble porch.



Anonymous said...

Cool post!

I'm considering hormones, and I don't anticipate my relationships changing all that much, at least after a little introductory awkwardness. (Like at my job and with my extended family.) I guess I expect that the people who matter to me will handle it pretty well.

Anonymous said...

Lucas-- I have been thinking about my answer to this.. and it is hard to nail down, because I think the differences I perceive are based more upon the long-distance-ness than your hormone therapy. Relying on the internet for our interactions means that I am only privy to what you choose to share (which,as your title says, you are very transparent..but I would imagine there are days you would rather just not put in "ink").

That said, I agree with db, that I see/ read you coming into your own, and being Lucas.

-Caitlin K.