a growing boy

just wanted to do an update...

i sent out my application for a new passport january 24 and received my brand-spanking new passport last week! i am really impressed on how quick the process was, i was expecting to wait at least a few months for one. so all of my information is changed - name and sex - and they even sent me back my original documents. so i'm pretty happy that this process was quick and painless.

i hit my nine-month mark on testosterone last week (the 13th)! time has been flying. since i changed my dosage, i've been feeling a lot better - sleeping more, A LOT less irritable, angry and frustrated and overall feeling more me. the main changes i've noticed lately are changes in my MUSCLES. holy muscles batman. i've been working out some lately (running, lifting, exercises on my exercise ball and chip-ups/pull-ups), but i am so impressed. i don't think i ever anticipated being this muscular. after being on testosterone i feel like i have a lot more energy and stamina than i did pre-t and that gaining muscle is a lot easier.

and my chest is looking good. my pecs are beginning to be defined a bit after working out. i am thinking about a revision to re-size the larger nipple and get rid of some extra tissue near my arm pits and under my one nipple. i still have very little sensation in my chest, but my left nipple (the one with the healing problems) actually has more sensation in it than the right one.

other updates...i'm more than halfway done with my thesis. it feels so good to be getting this done and getting this load off my back. i already invited my parents to graduation to ensure that i would finish.

i've been compiling a list of the "names" guys use for other guys (nouns to replace your name/nouns the strictly refer to a guy): man, buck, guy, bro, brother, dude, sir, mister, boy, young man. i find it most amusing when people use guy ("thanks for the help guy"), enjoy it when people use brother and sir in reference towards me and personally use and like dude the most. i've been called all of these names and just found the multitude and peoples' personal choices interesting. does anybody have any to add? any favorites?

i'll be updating my website soon with 9 month pictures, text and a voice clip.

peace.

trans health and law conference

just received work of the transgender lives: the intersection of health and law conference today.
the conference is being held on saturday, april 18th, 2009 at the uconn health center from 0800 until 1700. the conference is geared towards service providers, medial and legal professionals, trans and gender non-conforming individuals, allies and all those interested in the health and law issues facing the trans and gender non-conforming communities.
check out the website: www.transgenderlives.org

i plan on going, hope to see you there.
peace.

penis transplant

i found this article about the first penis transplant through an online forum. i hadn't realized this was 1 - possible and 2 - doctors had already tried it. regardless the article is interesting - check it out here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14905485/

peace.

diminishing storm clouds this afternoon. forecast for tomorrow: sunny.

the past two months have been pretty rough for me emotionally, mentally, physically...i had changed my testosterone dosage from 75 mg/week to 100 mg/week in the beginning of december when i had my six-month appointment with my endocrinologist. i was feeling really good at the time and decided to see how i would feel increasing the dosage. but i've been feeling everything but good these past two months - very easily irritated, frustrated and angry, all of which have made me very tired and sad. while i cannot attribute the way i've been feeling solely to the testosterone, i feel that it had quite a large effect on me. last week i called dr. turco's office, my endocrinologist, and spoke with a nurse about how i'd been feeling and my desire to decrease my dosage. the nurse called me back the next day and okay-ed the decrease in dosage. so last friday i injected 80 mg and while i feel like i should be holding my tongue, i already feel as if the dark storm clouds have left. i feel as if a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

lately i've been thinking about a lot of the experiences i've been afforded in terms of my transition and consider myself a very fortunate person. with this said, i wanted to write a list of all of the things i feel thankful for (trans-related):
-my support network (friends, family, online communities, my therapist, support groups)
-being able to start testosterone
-the incredibly friendly, understanding and knowledgeable staff and doctors in endocrinology at darmouth-hitchcock
-being able to have top-surgery and having an awesome experience with dr. fischer and her staff
-being brave enough to come out
-being able to be me without barely getting harassed at all, despite the fact that many people do experience varying forms of abuse because of their trans identity. and knowing that despite the difficulties i have experienced and will experience in the future, that i have made the right decision to transition, that i don't doubt my decision at all and that i am a much much much happier and healthier human being now and can finally be and feel more like myself.

peace.